


Filthy Frank Lyrics

by orphan_account



Series: YouTube Shenanigans [9]
Category: The Filthy Frank Show (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 10:45:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 3,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4603815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the lyrics to all of Filthy Franks' songs. (Fair warning, if you've never watched Frank or his channels, its probably a good idea not to read these.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ramen King

BEGINNING TRANSLATION]  
おはようございます.今日はラーメンを作ります。たのしでしね。じゃ,始めましょう。

[Verse 1: Pink Guy]  
I still masturbate while eating top ramen  
At a faster rate in the bigger quantities  
It counts as rape when I'm slurping at this unbelievable pace  
I turn the temperature up all the way sweat up on my face  
If you give no effort  
If you got no money  
Then i got a cheap method  
Crack it open throw it in a pan and let it cook bitch  
Now thats a real education fuck books  
If you wanna make in college acknowledge  
All the flavors that be dropping  
Mad knowledge on these pussy ass canned goods  
We got chicken and beef to boost the manhood  
Anybody want a piece of me will have to get this ramen first  
Start with the shrimp and then the fire  
If you're fully blazed then this shit'll get you higher  
Thirty-five cents a pack, three for a dollar  
Unbelievable pricing thats the future of a blue collar worker  
And I'm talkin' bout ramen  
This shit'll fill you up when you're feeling like an African  
Come back when you're in the state that I'm in  
And say hi to my homeboy top ramen


	2. Kill Yourself

PooPoo PeePee, Penis and Vagina  
Women with dicks and weak men with vaginas  
So fucking delicate like mommy’s fine china  
If you have complaints please wait your turn and line up

I got a message for these little fags trynna  
Be a mommy’s boy and a teachers pet, pimple face, asswipe  
Looking like they just had a gyne-cologist  
Stick five fingers in your ass, no lube  
So what'cha gonna do?  
If you’re number one, shove it up your ass and make it number 2  
(Oh)

Ladies getting mad in the comments, and I’m hearing it  
You think it was a typo with these red lines and periods  
(Oooh)  
Ha Ha no comma, bitches with their self esteem get out of the sauna

My shit lies in the sewers, closing the hatch  
I only joke about diseases and reference that only you can catch  
(Ew, oh my god.)  
And if you think you’re fucking grown up  
Keep breathing heavy with your keyboard and fedora  
Hands around your dick with the kung-fu grip  
Stroking back and forth to My Little Pony clips bitch

Go outside and ride a bike or something  
And get laughed at by kids to remind you that you are nothing  
And then, get hit by every car or truck that ever passes  
Your life flashes before your eyes! Oh wait it’s your Google Glasses  
Never mind faggot, just pick your ass up and take you to the closest sign faggot

I’m not done yet, you get up and you go home  
Sit at your computer and open up Google Chrome  
And then look at tutorials on how to hang yourself at home  
And then you can hang yourself  
Is that the end of the story?  
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, No son

Kill yourself, please please kill yourself  
You should really kill yourselves. (x2)

(I got a little bit of that anal cream for your asshole.)

[This part is not included in this song. It is it's own separate song titled "Bad Words".]

[Verse 1: Pink Guy]  
I hear screaming down the hallways, because you're gay  
You're a giant faggot, you should kill yourself

[Verse 2: Pink Guy]  
I hear screaming down the hallways, you giant asswipe  
You're a total faggot, you should kill yourself  
You should kill yourself, you should kill yourself  
You should kill yourself, you should kill yourself


	3. Weaboo Song

[Verse 1]  
Konnichiwa, senpai  
Please notice me  
I watch Asian cartoons  
I'm a weeaboo

I live in my mom's house  
I'm like 32  
I collect swords and throwing stars  
'Cause I'm a weeaboo

Sticks and stones may break my bones  
But I will always be one step ahead of you  
Because I read the manga  
(You're such a fucking pleb, are you even even Japanese bro?)

I haven't showered in like 16 weeks  
All my friends and peers are ashamed of me  
'Cause all of a sudden  
I think I'm Japanese

[Chorus]  
Yes, I'm a weeaboo (x4)  
A filthy weeaboo  
(Naruto's so overrated)  
A dirty weeaboo  
(You wanna see my katana collection?)  
A fucking weeaboo  
(I'm learning Japanese on Rosetta Stone)  
A disgusting weeaboo  
(So I'm like basically Japanese now)

[Verse 2]  
I sit at my computer desk  
And argue with teenagers on the internet  
About atheism  
And how Japan is superior to other countries  
I learned a bit of Japanese  
So now i'm qualified to be a part of their community  
So i made my avatar a kawaii waifu

[Chorus]  
Yes, I'm a weeaboo  
(Uh duh, everybody wears kimonos)  
Yes, I'm a weeaboo  
(Ninjas are still real, okay?)  
Yes, I'm a weeaboo  
(Uh, k-konnichiwa)  
Yes, I'm a weeaboo  
(Domo arigato)  
A filthy weeaboo  
(...)  
A dirty weeaboo  
A fucking weeaboo


	4. Pink Guy Cooks fried rice and raps

[Intro: Translated]  
Today, we'll be making fried rice  
That's fried rice  
Now then, lets begin!

[Verse 1]  
Fried rice, fri-fri-fried rice bitch  
You wanna play your cards with God and roll the dice bitch  
Weeding out the weak with agriculture educational  
Got me eating seeds and I ain't talking bout fellatio  
I'm crazy yo, got that technique stir fry chopstick asian flow  
I ain't about the oven or the microwave grills  
But i know a little bit about the culinary skills  
Required  
If you wanna roll with the frying pan  
Gotta fry with the heart of a china man  
Anybody got another method in the pantry can suck my dick  
This shit tastes like vagina man  
Now I ain't no Gordon Ramsay  
But I make the best damn rice you pansies  
A bitch like me came from japan see  
Coin slot eyes gonna drop the panties  
So if you want a piece of this get in line you piece of shit  
They just keep coming back for more you'd think Jehovah's witnesses  
They call me the grain man  
Ancient ritual praying can  
Help cook rice on a spiritual level for those willing and able to be the king of the table  
Huh  
Have some of my grain and i ain't talking about the fucking headaches  
You get on the morning after fridays  
I throw this rice like bridesmaids

[Outro]  
STIR, FRY X 8  
CHIN CHIN X 8


	5. Dick Pays Rent

I let the beat drop like old people with polio  
(that's actually really fucked up)

[VERSE 1: Santa's Brother]  
Bitches can't handle my shit  
They get really excited when they see my dick  
My dick pays rent, and my dick pays quick  
So I got a little story that'll rattle your tits  
Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road?  
Because it was disabled  
The doctors say I have a disease  
But I find that really fucking hard to believe  
I hang dogs from trees so I can raise the ROOF  
I turned around way too fast and knocked things off the shelf with my dick  
Now it's really red and blue like lilo and stitch  
Now it's really starting to itch, hepatitis  
This beat drops like my balls at the age of twelve  
My nipple shrivels up like a dehydrated elf  
I shot an old man in the kneecaps (X2)  
They call me moose knuckles  
Because when I sit down, you can see my balls stick out like moose knuckles  
I get diseases from the great sex  
I'm coughing up blood so I'm gonna pass the mic

[VERSE 2: Pink Guy]  
Bitches can't handle my shit  
They get really excited when they see my dick  
My dick pays rent, and my dick pays quick  
So I got a little story that'll rattle your tits  
They call me mr fancy pants, with these nasty rants  
They wanna get a little mr magic man  
They want a little fire from the land Japan  
So I give a little hell for these faggots man  
I shake things up like parkinson's on these faggots with cars and rims  
Cuz we're having a blast  
Like Kim Jung on his last lung bombing America son, yeah  
You can't kill me, cuz Chin Chin is my lord  
Fuck that I ain't about the peace  
I'm really all about that vaginal crease  
Cuz I'm done with you assholes  
You fail hard like you're missin a class tho  
Mother fucker I will kill you  
Mother fucker I will kill you


	6. Big Momma

[Verse 1: Pink Guy]  
Big mama, selling narcota  
How much do it cost bitch? None, zip, nada  
Run from policia, ain't no drama  
Fresh new Adidas for the newborn stamina  
Flow so pretty I would turn around and fuck it  
Asian girl screams, that's the Bangkok Ruckus  
Not a crack-pipe, but I crack pipe vocally  
Pipe kids down with the black cane locally  
Got a thick layer of bullshit that covers me  
Spying on your girl from a tree like Discovery Channel  
Bust through your girl's vag canal  
Fuck her in the ass, less humps than a camel  
Yo, riddle this fictitious little kiddo  
That rinses dishes  
Blow kisses to bad girls they flinch itches  
Mad sketchy like Craigslist, ain't shit  
Ya'll finish short, like a midget at the races  
When I'm on the beat, I'm something like a cipher  
Podium possess kid, keep it old school, like a type writer  
Night-rides a horse, so I'm a knight rider  
Something like a king bombing on these Al-Quaders  
Bitch!  
No, I'm just scanning a thin line  
Between a piece of shit and a battle of ill minds  
I got dumb people that be testing my rhymes  
But I can bend around the process and steadily incline  
So when they ask, "Who am I?"  
Make a death slow, and they feel the pain  
And when I'm not on my pill, my brain deteriorates and I go insane


	7. Porn Title Raps

Romantic dude cums on rose  
Spongeknob Squarenuts  
Explosive beaver hammering  
Old ass woman that is about to die gets fucked  
Emo couple wants to fuck more than they want to die  
Big hairy gustavo whacks his gack  
You've got midget - Scene 1  
Lemon stealing whore  
Baby thrown off balcony  
Sleep walking step brother  
Edward penis hands  
Retarded goth jerking off while crying  
Adolf Hitler painting destroyed by big black cock  
It's okay mom, i'm here  
Pikachu cums  
Asscream sundae  
Young hot redhead pisses on everything in the room, ten wet piss scenes  
Dumb cunt eating ice cream  
Tiger's wood  
I don't know wtf is going on, but the frog fucks good  
Meme orgy gets nasty  
Please Santa, drill my ass  
The taste of grandma's furburger  
Not the Cosbys, but close enough  
Phineas and Ferb  
Bald bitch gets wild with snakes and  
Insert two apple in ass  
Black cock down  
Straight male gets drilled by corn  
Willy Wonka and the fudge packing factory  
Sausage and spaghetti dinner  
Mom's spaghetti  
The prune brothers  
Pretty boy pees, farts and flexes his bunghole  
Engulfing a delectable willy  
Her black stepdads retarded cock  
The gimp and the retard  
Anna Nicole Smith's retarded daughter  
Amputee smears herself with sauce  
Amputee  
Toy story hentai  
Forrest hump  
Schindler's fist  
The flintbones  
Good will humping  
Shrek  
Walt Disney-4  
Whorey Potter and the sorcerer's balls  
Cake farts  
Karate girl foot sniffing  
Scoopy doo  
Sonic having orgasms  
A chinese fish looks like penis  
Reported gets banged by terrorists  
Kung fu power sex  
Fisting wars tale of the lost arm  
Getting hole punched at an office party  
The sperm burger extra mayo free  
Hot blonde fucked by a gargoyle  
Hot redhead performing super hot solo  
Adventures of the fart bitches  
My brother spying on the neighbor, haha


	8. Anal Beads

Anal beads  
Anal beads  
Anal beads  
Anal beads  
It goes pop-pop-pop when it's coming out my asshole  
And it feels good  
And it feels good (It feels good!)  
And it feels good  
And it feels good tonight (I broke a dog's neck!)  
In the darkest of times  
You're there for me (I love you!)  
In the darkest of times  
These anal beads take care of me (They take care of me!)  
Shove it up real good (Please?)  
Now it kind of hurts (Ow...)  
Oh, no! (What?)  
And I need an ambulance! (Oh my God, it's huge!)  
Call the ambulance! (Someone needs to kill that thing!)  
Now my ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ain't nothing wrong with that  
Ain't nothing wrong with that  
Ain't nothing wrong with that  
Ain't nothing wrong with that  
My ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding  
Ass is bleeding


	9. Asian Nerd Raps

I'm a piece of shit  
I'm back again  
I got a big dick  
African  
I'm not gay  
I like disco  
You're from the gay parade  
San Francisco  
See I don't have sex  
I'm racist  
I jab my dick up  
In some nasty places  
I got a donkey dick  
You know this  
I got a big staff  
Moses  
I ain't a Jonas brother  
I ain't gay, bro  
I got plenty money  
Pesos  
I'm an immigrant  
Illegal  
I takes a shit on your head  
Seagull  
Aoowoaowoaoahhh  
OOAOOOAWOOOOOOOOOOOOH


	10. Do the Salamander

Can’t handle all these nipples (x4)

Do the salamander (Nyess) (x4)  
Rub your nipples like (Nyess) (x4)

Welcome to the rice fields  
This is how my nipple feels  
Buy some Amphibians  
I can give you nice feels  
Rubbing on my nipples till it's bleeding  
Believe us the salamander's got a huge penis  
If you want to do the dance then be careful  
All you gotta do is hump the air and rub your nipples (Nyess)  
Fuck frogs, fuck toads, fuck newts, fuck the animals  
The salamander's number 1  
Look at these nipples (x4)  
Motherfucker they are beautiful  
Can’t handle all these nipples  
I'm talking to these tits like I was Dr Dolittle

Do the salamander (Nyess) (x4)  
Rub your nipples like (Nyess) (x4)  
(Repeat once)

Can’t handle all these nipples (x4)

And don't you ever let me catch you in my rice fields again  
You little punk ass bitch


	11. Pink Guy Raps Tweets and Comments

I like my women like I like my coffee, ground up and put in the freezer  
I am from Kenya, please send help  
I miss my dad  
If I was anymore inbred I'd be a sandwich  
I am the supreme gentlemen  
Fuck her right in the pussy  
My dad left me  
This beat is going down like a South Korean ferry  
What's better than swinging a dead baby in circles around your head on a 5 foot rope? Stopping it with a shovel  
There are orphans shitting in my mouth  
I cry a lot when i touch myself  
D-D-D-D-Dad w-w-w-what's of breakfast?  
The Jews did 911  
Filthy Frank fans will never get girlfriends and will die alone  
Whats better than a pile of dead babies? One in the middle is alive and has to eat it's way out  
What the fuck did you just say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills...  
Kekekekekekekek jajajajajajajajja kekekekekekekekek  
Cory in the house  
Dead girls can't say no  
Sometimes I sit in a deep dark corner regretting the day I didn't use a condom on Rosie O'Donnell  
In the 8th grade a guy almost put an egg up his ass because of me  
How do you make a baby cry? Drop it. How do you make it stop crying? Drop it again  
Falcon punching pregnant women is my favorite past time  
It hurts but i do it for Shrek  
Your mom should have swallowed you  
Hey mom I'm in a Filthy Frank video  
Pink Guy sucks he is a gay piece of shit and needs to die  
This one time i pissed blood and drank it. Recycling is good  
I want to caress Matty B Raps and make him squeal like the lil' boy he is  
Consensual sex in the missionary position with the lights off  
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her? her miscarriage  
If she's old enough to pee then she's old enough for me  
As long as I have a face your mother has somewhere to sit  
B0ss pls gibe da pusi b0ss xOver9000

[Frank]  
Wow these people are awful

[Pink Guy]  
*Crys*

[Frank]  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky


	12. Pink Guy Loves Animals

[Verse 1: Pink Guy]  
I love animals, especially when they're dead  
So get it embedded up in your head cause I'm headed to the red cross  
I'm snapping dogs necks like it's a hobby of mine  
Cause I'm rapping like a turban when I'm snapping this cats spine  
I love hitting deer and making these hounds fight  
To you they may be screaming, but to me it just sounds like

[Musical Verse 1: Pink Guy]

[Verse 2: Pink Guy]  
If PETA begs me to stop  
Like my cock was lodged down in their sensitive spot  
And I rocked these polka dot furs from dogs that I killed  
Along with ten other dogs, Green Peace ain't thrilled  
Cause on my way to work  
I try to hit as many squirrels and deer as I can  
Endangered species are like harder targets  
They greet me by my first name in the black markets  
With fresh carcass, shredding like guitar picks  
Yo, I’m known for killing raccoons, and baboons, and kangaroos  
For a thousand smacaroons  
And the Chinese butcher  
Cook it well with more Ash than Kutcher  
If you find your dead pet in the yard you can bet it’s me Mr. Poultry  
Chopping down the tall trees  
Feed it pellets, I ain't talking about the Pedigree  
Ha, you just made an enemy  
Here try giraffe, it's cooked and tastes heavenly  
The only good animal is the live stock  
So sit back with me and watch these felines rot  
Killing animals is great, fuck the rules  
If you're scared of the wild just grab the right tools  
Shoot the fucking birds out of the sky and they're singing

[Musical Verse]  
We falling yeah, we falling yeah  
We falling yeah  
We falling yeah

[Verse 3: Pink Guy]  
Huh, just watch them fall, huh  
I got these birds screaming like angels  
When they fall out the sky they looking mad grateful  
Grab your shotguns and grab your rifles  
Have these birds looking sleepy like NightQuil

[Musical Verse]  
We falling yeah, we falling yeah  
We falling yeah  
We falling yeah

[Small Child Commentator]  
You do realize this is a song about killing animals

[Filthy Frank]  
Oh, let him rap about what he wants, he's just a boy


	13. Pink Guy Raps Tweets

[Verse 1]  
The midgets crawled out of my asshole and rubbed on my nipples  
Jordy Jordon bit my fat balls so now I need a seminal transplant  
Candy-ass and Donky-dees and some soup  
I shat on my puke while fucking a duck  
My shit tastes solid when it's wet  
Stop being such a faggot and spit that shit  
Rock my jollies, little ones they'll never know  
Rub Snookie's vaginal discharge all over my face baby  
How sore's your throat from all those dicks?  
You're a cunt, Houdini  
Dick is my favorite vegetable  
Boom boom my cock in your ass like a dynamite stick  
Be more specific not sure if I understand  
The red meteor crash landed in my gaping asshole  
I once shoved a knife down my urethra  
I fucking love to lift midgets while doing anal to them and vise-versa  
I love Thomas the tank engine  
I work in the rice fields  
This one time, I pooped out and it was blue  
Some...- He can't say that

[Verse 2]  
I hid 5 pounds of porn in the sandbox  
I was wondering when someone would make a rim-joke about that movie  
Midgets crawl out my nipples and tickle my pickle, while I'm fucking Bruice-Roman, they call me Niko  
You're on the ground, I'm up in this tree  
My name is C-Sizzle  
I make moneeeeeeeey  
Chinchin likes penis

[Verse 3]  
Everytime I masturbate in front of my dog he looks at me like he secretly wants it in him, should I give it to him?  
I jerk off to your videos, it's the most satisfying thing ever  
Tits, ass, butts, and fucks, those are the things I love to have  
In the back of your room, you hear a nyess... every time you undress so don't bother with no distress  
I'd anally destroy you  
Children are disgusting  
Shit on my butt-corpse  
Salamander man loves pink guy  
Leave shit on my chest to when we fuck  
If babies wouldn't cry then there'd be no point in fleshlights

[Verse 4]  
I have a picture of a baby covered in shit on my wall  
I like my women like I like my trail-mix, with nuts  
Got my fingers in my grandma like a vintage bowling ball  
I want Zeus to... I want Zeus to tou... I want Zeus to touch my prostate  
This morning I had a bowl of cereal and a big tall glass of p..pussy juice


	14. Weird McDonalds Rap

I got a story that'll waggle your eyes  
I got a burger and a thingy of fries, I think we disguise  
Our lives when we speak, but we show it with what we eat  
We defeat eternal demons with heaps of internal shitty meat  
Ronald had a dream when he was sucking his mom's titty  
He wanted to palm cities rockin his fall hoodie  
In this heat, nah man he ain't no clown  
He don't need another guardian to hold the fucking place down  
Ronald, i never got to say thank you  
If you caught me at a KFC I never meant to hurt you  
I tore down a thousand burger kings for talking shit  
Have em lost for words on some stephen hawking shit  
This cancer's got these little kids biting lips  
If burgers kill then fuck it im gonna die from it  
Ill fucking die for you ronald i hope you understand  
Avoid beef and im taking your ass to pakistan  
See if ronald mcdonald would have to run a bottle shop  
Ronald would unload a couple shots on these fucking cops  
See mcdonalds is the finest china quality  
That make your legs wobble a lava lamp holding socrates is  
Less post modern than ronald, cause in a thousand years  
You and I'll be gone but the patties keep flipping  
The chicken is still delicious the living expense is limitless  
So why the fuck you eating salad bitch  
See back in 48 was when I heard of this magic place  
When the atom bomb crushed a small country in it's natural state  
Rebuilt itself into a fine little real estate  
And reeled in any american chains with exceptional taste, but...


	15. Bitches Aint Shit

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks  
Lick on these nuts and suck a dick  
Get the fuck out after you're done  
And I hope into my ride to make a quick run

Bitches ain't shit  
(Man fuck this bitches)  
Mhm so lick the nuts and suck a dick  
Bitches ain't shit  
Mhm so lick the nuts and suck a dick


End file.
